Random Rant of The Day (RRTD)

RRTD - 1

Imagine a song that your dad used to sing. Imagine that song to represent a time in your childhood. You have never seen the song on screen, you have heard it forever. you have it in your MP3, you have it on your PC, you sing it to suit the 'emotion' in your life. you idolise the singer, fall in love with his songs, flirt with his voice and sing him in your head.

One day, youtube happens. Curiosity takes over an overwhelming urge that possesses your very soul to SEE the song. S-E-E it ... you watch Rajesh Khanna sing it.

I rest my case.

why get married and etcetra

I understand now, when you ponder over life's larger issues, and think of your existential meanings and question life's thoeries

(which basically means -
- you are on your mom's nerves forever
- you are forever moping around either because a) you have too much of work during weekdays, leaving you no time for HBO, Star Movies and World Movies or b) you have too much time on weekends and you are bored, because the above mentioned channels are NOT playing a single DECENT movie
- you begin to get several books that have fancy names and use the sentence - "what's the use anyways, everyone is gonna end up in the deep abyss for ever after"
- term your irritated, and short tempered self as a person having a 'quarter life crisis'
- work for more than 17 hours a day and run away during weekends to your friend's pads)

Why your family says "its time for marriage" and gets you married to the man of your life.

Purely because (and hold your breath ...)

A - they can get you off their back

B - you will have abso-fuckin-lutely NO time for anything in life let alone ask questions and ponder over theories. (believe me when I say that - Im constipated for the last two days, cos I din have time to go to the loo when the urge took over)

Brilliant-fuckin-geniuses these moms and grand moms are ... and then they enjoy every moment of your really hurried and harried married life with a chuckle and a statement that usually is a variant of "do it now, remember those days when you refused to work at home? now try refusing!)

*sigh*

In other news -

- Its been two months since I blogged. Yeah yeah I know. no need to send me wreathes assuming that Im dead

- MJ is dead - until he was alive, I never thought twice about the man. The moment I got to know he's dead, there's a deep sadness within. RIP MJ

- Im learning how to drive a car. I already have an LL, and soon, with a DL, I shall be India's savior, I shall rid it of its excess population

- Hubby goes to vides for a couple of months tomorrow, *sigh* lazy days, here I come; weepy days - here I come too, because I already miss him as I pack for him... boohoo

- Watched Bridewars amid snores, hubby fell asleep in the midst you see, moi thinks its a damn good movie - if you are bored to death on a sunday afternoon and your friends cancelled that "get together" you had planned all week long, and you have nothing else to do. Damn good movie to watch then.

- Bought a new phone. The old un's display started to look like that chequered lungi that my dad had bought in a sudden fit of admiration towards Mehmood.
- The damn phone was under warranty for an year. the damn thing broke down, 10 days after the warranty expired and thus the subject of my phones is of great mirth to the family (well, of the phones Ive had, I've lost 1, one met its demise when it fell off the 3rd floor, one refused to work after just 13 months, and now this.)
- So now I have a Samsung Touch Phone. Everyone keeps asking me 'Next is What' clutching their stomachs and rolling on the floor laughing. Sheesh!

- Finished 6 years in my current company. I feel so old already. I need a new job. Do let me know if you have one.

More later. Bye for now. Over and out.

Embittered

Have you heard the story of the princess?

They got her the sweets from Bengal, Maple syrup from Canada, Manna and dew and magical potions brewed in the land of England, jaggery brewed out of the finest sugarcanes, rock sugar made by the druids of the ancient, they ordered for the ancient Egyptian recipes, the recipes that sweetened and loosened the tongue of the most hardened criminal, they got her dew, freshly formed at the crack of dawn, they got her honey straight from the bee hives of Africa… every conceivable sweet under the earth was ordered to be prepared with great care and given to her, fruits and nuts, and caramel and pudding … she tasted them all, and spat them out.

Everything, everything tastes bitter, she said, as bitter as bile, as bitter as gourd, as bitter as treason, as bitter as hate.

Everything, tastes bitter, she said.

A dedication

You were never in any of my plans. You never existed a year ago to me. My life was all about me and my family and my career and my friends and my boyfriends and my studies and my …. Oh well, my life was just a big fat MY.

I don’t think I liked you so much when I met you. I don’t think I ever thought of waking up to see your calm serene face as it sleeps every morning. I don’t think I ever thought of putting your name behind mine and thinking of, how would it sound.

I never imagined waking up to your kisses, I never imagined about setting 5 alarms ringing just so that I wake up in time for you to get ready, I never imagined unrequited love in my life, for, did I not think that all love is conditional?

I never was a family person. I used to hate cooking and cleaning and waking up early and respecting a bunch of people I’d never met earlier, and adhering to rules and regulations and asking for opinions before I did a thing, I never thought I could ever be so selfless or loving or caring or tender.

I never thought I would ever pray HIM for someone’s longevity. I never thought I would ever get out of my infatuation for jerks, I never thought I could live a life with one single man by my side forever.

I was never a traditional person; I did not like the marks of a woman, the black beads, the flowers, the sari, the jewellery.

I never thought I could give up my habits, my late night forages with my books, my quirky love for mushrooms, my tendency to remain un-bathed over a weekend, the dislike of cleanliness.

I never thought you would accept my friends, friends I had flirted with, friends I still flirt with, friends who call up at midnight, friends who have issues with pre-marital pregnancy, friends who get drunk and call me their girl even after I’m married, friends who call me when they have issues with their in-laws, friends who call because, they had nothing else to do, friends who call because they are in trouble, friends who forward their resumes, friends with whom I share intimate details, friends who butt in to give their opinions.

I never thought my brother could take someone’s side apart from my own, I never thought my brother could trust someone other than me, and do so, without me fearing for his trust; I never thought someone would call my mom as mother other than her own kids.

Even now, when I write of you, I write about myself. Unseen, unheard, you crept up into my life, and now I find flowers in the vase everyday, I see a smile wake me up with a kiss everyday, I see that I am, who I am now, all pretences are shed, I see someone can love my bad breath and my fat butt and my dirty ragged pajamas. I see us being a family now, I see the MY being replaced by you and your, and we and our, I see that my “I hate kids” is slowly transforming into “I want to have kids”, I see how it feels when you have someone to wipe your tears, rather either you having to wipe them, or having someone who will bring tears to your eyes.

Though you say it every morning, and you say it every night, and I know you mean it even when you say it and even when you don’t, for, your actions speak louder than words, for if isn’t love, what is it, when you call up once every half an hour to make sure I'm fine, when I’m chumming, when you sit through a really bad movie with a grin on your face & trying not to fall asleep, just because I'm so totally in love with the lead actor, when you try to pluck mint leaves for a gravy though you could not differentiate the stalk from the leaf, just so that I get work done sooner and have time to sit down and enjoy my tea, when you tiptoe into the room to allow me those few extra minutes of sleep, when you hold my hand and give me a kiss just so that I simmer down my famous ill tempered anger, when you listen to my irrational ranting about everything that’s wrong in the world, when you, with an amused smile, listen to my really strong and twisted opinions of so many things in life, when you ask me to sit down, and do the cleaning yourself on a weekend, because in your words “you need to take a break too”, when you patiently hear out my woes with my past ‘Ex’es, when you, along with me, have pani puri for dinner, though you MUST have rice to feel like you’ve eaten a meal… you don’t have to tell me that you love me, I know you do.

For a life gone by, I have but one regret; I came by your house, for more an a year, every single day, passed by it, waited in the cab for colleagues to get in, sometimes, got down from my cab and leaned on your gate. Could you, not, in one of all those days that made up that year, come out and fall in love with me? Why did you not meet me earlier? Why did you make me wade through all the wrong people in the world before we met?
Why did you not, bring out the best in me, earlier, like you do now? Why did you not make me feel a woman, all those days when I was a tomboy leaning over your gate, like you do now? Why did you not come by sooner, so that I understand what it means to say “I love you” and mean it and what it means to hear “I love you” and know that it is more than just a statement, that it is a promise, a commitment, a lifetime, a sense of togetherness, something that says that I will forgo my happiness to see you happy.

Dedicated to the one and only – hubby dearest

(to those who felt the post was too mushy, damn you. I am getting mushy these days, it’s the age and the marriage catching up … but don’t you worry you heartless readers, a really funny post is on its way … hmm, the mail man is late, where’s the post? (that was a PJ … laugh if you can) )

Chronicles of a Wedded Life

Right, so the longest disappearing act ever?

*smiles*

Its been a month that Ive been married for today. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was today that Aishwarya Rai and the wife of the guy sitting across my workstation along with half the female population on the earth heaved a collective sigh last month, not to mention the guys in the facilities department of my company who had a touch time cleaning up all that drool. I am told that the day when we had water scarcity, all this water was used to ..err… lets leave the gross details out, shall we? Curiously, today is Thursday the 19th, the same day and date as last month. Whatay miracle don’t you think so?

Days have flown by so fast, that the Airbus 380 hides its face in shame. It just seems like yesterday, when my mother appraised me with tear filled eyes,

When I said “No Mamma no, I hate tears” with the enthusiasm of a certain actor who has degraded himself to playing roles in soft porn movies, I did not know, that I had spoken too soon, because, she wiped off her tears in a hurry, lest I think she is suffering and refuse to go, and said,
“arre, pagli, ye to khushi ke aansoo hain, ab ghar main kachra karne wala koi nahin hain na” (Oh you insane, these are the tears of joy, the house shall be spotlessly clean from tomorrow)

I turned to my brother in a sudden emotional movement, and pulled him away from all those drooling girls he was impressing with the 8grand Sherwani that I bought him in a rush of brotherly affection. He turned towards me and very gravely gave me a look, that probably could have inspired the Dev Sahab’s Phoolon ka taaron ka song. If only, he had stopped at that, why O why did he have to open his mouth and say
“so, sister, don’t you dare take all those DVDs away, I'm keeping the computer, the Mp3 player, the DVD collection, the uber cool mobile that you have (you can take my Nokia 1100 instead), the parker pen and …..” he would have gone on, if not for the interference of a particularly cute looking girl in Pink who told him his sherwani looked cute. My 8 Grand you scheming fox of a brother, I grunted as he coolly turned his back to me.

Ever since, my hubby has been seen hunting for part time jobs, he says he cannot afford to have me at home with his current level of income. We didn’t go on a honey moon, because I fell in love with a certain MAC store in namma bengaluru and decided to spend a forty odd thousand there. Currently, as I blog, my hubby’s painting letters on a cardboard, which reads “will sell wife for money”.

On a serious note though, they say time flies when you are happy, and drags on forever when you are morose. So, it should be proof enough when I say, that me and the hubby dearest got up today morning, and exclaimed – Its been a month already? I fluttered my eyelids and told him that it seemed more like a couple of days rather than a month, and coyly smiled at him (with an expression that begged for a “yes dearest, and in celebration I shall get you a DeBeers diamond necklace) but instead he stared back at me in horror, pulled out his hair (which I don’t think is a good idea … I don’t really like bald guys you know) and sucked his thumb and sulked to him mom “Do I really need to spend the rest of my life with her? Is’nt a month worth of punishment bad enough already?”
I am, of course but kidding, he didn’t suck his thumb, he just covered his face and sobbed uncontrollably

So, there. That’s the first month of married life for you. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot, I have started cooking at our home. The hubby’s family doctor is overjoyed. And you won’t get a single word out of me, on this subject. Period.

I have also started shopping for groceries, and I'm told Big Bazaar officials spoke to CNN the other day, and they were heard remarking “recession? What recession? We are not undergoing any recession, in fact, our sales have tripled over the last one month. We are seeing a huge spending on items that are totally unnecessary for household use … the credit card of one Mr. Hubby dearest is the most utilized. I am sure he has gotten a few lakh as his salary increment, else no fool would spend as much in one month.

In other news, I am yet to get fully adjusted to the new home and all, and am yet to get used to saying “my husband” or saying “Mrs. Justso” when someone asks for my name, I need to remember to wear all the sindoor and the gajra and keep my pallu intact and all that stuff, but its kinda fun.

Cant say I don’t miss being single though. All that flirting, oogling and line maaroing is all in the past. All that giggling over the mysteries of the S word is all gone, I feel all grown up, and adult, where talking of sasuraal genda phool and bachon ki planning isn’t something that aunties do, and asking “what did u cook for breakfast” doesn’t elicit a “chee, who cooks dude” but instead is a conversation starter. So many dreams crushed in the wheels of life, so many newer dreams taking root in the path of life.

how does a title matter?

Its been so so long since Ive written on this space, and I was so about to write all crappy stuff like - you guys should actually be commemorating me – for letting you live in peace for so long and not torturing you guys to my random aimless pieces of words.

But after a dedication of his blog post to me( it was a shared dedication, like those saamoohik shaadiyan … you know, all those people together getting married on the same day, the mangal sutras being given away by some big fat, dark, ass scratching, leching-at-the-brides-to-be samaaj sevak… comon haven’t u seen saamohik shaadiyan on DD news(bachpan main)? It was that types of a dedication, but a dedication nevertheless) and then a blog award by none other than (who else?) Bulshee again … mere dil main likhne ki iccha jag uthi. (that sounds really weird .. iccha jaag uthi? Acha! kal raat kab soyi thi, itni der se uth rahi hain ab?)

Don’t you dare comment on how low my PJ skills have fallen… it is an occupational hazard. R, my dear friend who gets married a couple of months after I do, has seen his PJ quotient do a bungee jump… he is yet waiting for it to bounce back, and I have a distinct feeling that it has been eaten up by a big fat crocodile on its way down. A moment of silence for his PJ quotient please, though the usage of “quotient” as a measure always makes me wonder what the dividend and the divisor are … but then, im not known for my intellectually stimulating thoughts, am I?

Though I know you are all very excited to know how the marriage preps are underway, let me spare you the gory (and the kaali and the naarangi) details of the horrors of when I went saree shopping or footwear shopping (Ive gone color blind looking at the colors there) ; and move onto a most interesting topic that Ive evaded for a long time now.

Now, Im the master procrastinator, who loves to put off things until the last minute, but better late than never, isn’t it?

So here’s the tiresome (err…) threesome tag that the supergal hath tagged me with. So, while Bulshee’s blog award requires me to write 10 truths about myself, moi pense, that the long list of threes will outnumber the required tens. :)

I get to write random truths about myself, and if those truths aren’t exciting enough, I get to make up excitingly false random truths about myself, but all in threes :D

3 Joys
- mujik
- masti and
- Joy Mukherjee*

3 Fears
- Losing my freedom (which I will lose on the 19th of this month – yea yea just 10 more days to go)
- Hieghts
-shopping (to which I have been subjected to, continuously over the past 2 months)

3 Goals

- To have no goals (the irony, yeah)
- To not watch Goal (despite the sexy John Abraham)
- To have an extra marital with Abhishek Bachchan

3 Random Ssurprising Facts:
- Loos NEED to be clean, else, im not giving up my excreta (does a same pinch to Wsw)
- I think passing under a railway bridge when a train is passing up there is good luck
- Im regarded as extremely shy and reserved by my relatives

3 Current Obsessions:
- Songs of Delhi 6
- Emoshonal Atyachar
- My lappie (though this is an eternal obsession)

3 People Who Make me Laugh
- My 5 year old cousin
- Russel Peters
- the guy who writes those hilarious dialogues/ poems for Roshesh in Sarabhai Vs Sarabhai

3 Things I hate
- Fights
- Attitude (esp., the “Im always right” attitude & the “pity me” attitude and the … oh I can go on)
- Judgmental Bastards

3 Things I don’t understand
(huh, only 3? Bahut naainsaafi hain)
- Why October 2008 ended up the way it did
- Why is cricket given so much of importance in apna des
- why I put on so much of weight despite not eating a damn thing.

3 Things Im doing right now
- Blogging (duh-uh)
- listening to mujik
- waiting for 9PM, so that I can pack up.

3 Things I can do
- Be silent for days together (irony – im a chatterbox)
- Hate people so much to wish that the Japs nuke them
- Do Nothing (I know, the irony)

3 Things I cant do
- Be a hypocrite
- Forgive people easily
- Fall out of love easily

3 Things I think you Should Listen To

- Delhi 6 – the title song. Awesomeness
- Raag AnandBhairavi … esp when you are about to get married
- Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel

3 Things you should never Listen to

- himesh singing “tan tana na na tandoori nights” (scratch that, make it, Himesh singing ANYTHING)
- the definition of beauty that involves the words slim and fair and blah
- people saying “trust me” or “you know me”

3 Absolute Favorite Foods

- Shake Shake Fries of Mc Ds (sadly that’s stopped now)
- Bhindi fry
- Scalding hot mirchi ke bhajjiye :D

3 Things I would like to Learn

- understand a woman’s mind (I know … me being a woman and all, but still)
- understand what would make my hubby do all the ghar ka kaam (evil moi)
- to act like a chammak challo

3 beverages I drink regularly

- paani paani re
- diet coke (kahin to calorie count karen :P )
- Tea

3 Shows I watched as a Kid

- Nukkad
- Mahabharath
- He-Man

(* Joy Mukherjee - supposedly an actor - dad had pointed out to some random orange and yellow clad guy of a 1970s movie & said - joy mukherjee, and hence his existence was prooved)

PS - some pirablem with blogger on this network, so wont be able to put up bulshee's bootiphool award, will do so later

whiny post

whine, sob, sniff, snivel.

---------------------
EDIT

reason to whine diminished ... have a post dedicated to moi ... check this post by bulshee

A whole new chapter

Sometimes the simple pleasures in life, creep up to you and catch you so unawares that you stand there, speechless.

Unable to emote or utter a word, unable to think and unable to even realise that something humoungously big has hit you.

At the end of the day, it is just one simple word of the English Language. 8 random letters put together ....

just a word?
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
a moment,
a touch,
a promise,
a look,
an awkward pause,
a word,
a few words,
a blush,
a smile,
a tear,
an understanding,
some trust
some security
some silence
some laughter
two people
two families
two dreams
two lives

a word?
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no
yes
no

hang on

I know I know Ive left this only space that I can call truly mine, hanging in the webs (teehee - such a PJ no?) but hang in there guys, life's a roller coaster presently. Will update you on every millisecond of my life that happened after the last post. (too boring? okay - I will give you hazy wispy sketchy outlines filled with dark humor and sarcasm of the above mentioned time period)

until then, think about the poor gurkhas who have it tough in the job market - what with all the competition from out of work investment bankers hunting for a job that gives them money.

being back

When was the last time I wrote on this blog? well, not very long ago. And no one missed me while I was away - so whats the ruckus all about anyways?

So, what do you want me to say? That I was travelling to exotic locations and post pictures of them? Or that I was busy in the concluding talks of multi billion dollar deals? Or that I got married and am already pregnant with quintuplets nows?
None of that has happenend. None of that will ever happen. I have a boring desk job. I travel the same 20 kilometeres day in and out - get stuck in similar sounding traffic (everyone honks; everyone shouts; who cares) every single day; look at the same applications on the desktop; dial the same BT Meet Me number.
So in the above routine the only "different" thing that happens is the conference call entry code that I punch. Im sure you would not want to know the standard deviation of all the various numbers I punch in , to get into a call where you have people from different countries speaking the same language but sounding so damn different that at the end of the call you feel like you've just heard PV Narasimha Rao sleepily mutter in all the 18 languages he knew.
And while I struggle to keep my eyelids open, I learn to empathise with our former minister HD Deve Gowda at all the UN summits he attended.

But seriously - I would have loved to have been this marketing executive who writes about sausages made from pig's blood or this really funny lady who makes even mundane stuff sound fun or keep abreast of all the politics and sports events and rant about unsuspecting victims to my rage. But since I do nothing even remotely resembling any of the above, I just shut my crap hole and continue doing what I do best - attending conference calls.
So well, having shattered all the myths about me leading a meaningful existence over the past couple of months, lets move on to more mundane aspects of life ...

• The blog was off for a brief period of time (NO VIP Frenchie jokes there please); due to inexplicable reasons, but since none of you noticed - why the heck am I explaining anyways?
• My cluttered up personal life has just become a little un-cluttered. What with an astrologer (may Lord make sure all his grandchildren get into the IIMs - not the Shillong IIM though) blaming my family and not me for me not getting married :D
• My professional life which earlier consisted of reading Dilbert and the above linked blogs has just decided to compensate to the fact the my personal life is uncluttered and has become messy beyond all imagination. Yes. Im busy. (wow! I've always wanted to say that atleast once in my lifetime :D)
• Im taking a vacation next month. I know "Im busy" and "Im taking a vacation" dont really deserve bullet points one below the other; but you must understand that Im a person who used to live on company charity and am now made to work. I need to rejuevenate(right ishpelling?) myself ... Ive effectively worked for a full two hours the whole of last one month.
• Marriage is a distant word now-a-days. Not that the family isnt trying, but I guess they ran out of stock of all the eligible bachelors out there. So *sigh of relief* for that.
• Saying "Investment Banking" is like being the Emperor with the new clothes. And I work for a company that has a lot to do with Investment Banking. (sheesh I said that word now. Did my clothes just dissappear?). Now is So not a time to be associated with that IB word.

So there. now you are as up-to-date on my life as much as the viewers of Big Boss2 are about Jane Goody's health situation.

Lets get down to meaningful work now. Ive been tagged ages ago and I have promised all of these people who'd tagged me that I WOULD do their tag. Im not about to let them down.(let them take the elevator instead*)
* - if you didnt get that joke, forget it, it is pathetic, even by the standard of a PJ.

So Dharmabum, Di and Madam Superwoman, pliss to have patience, your tags shall be done once Im back from vacation (or maybe sooner - while im attending a conf call - who knows ;-) )

PS - I know this is heresy - coming from an ABjr fan; but did you also feel that the man looks positively ugly in the trailors of Drona? or is it just me and my change of attitude now that he is married and shows no signs of divorce?

Musiquely yours

I realise Im long due on the number of tags I need to do. And I plod through them in the FIFO manner.
Taru tagged me long back on this; have always thought of getting down to do this, but laziness always overtakes me on the path to meaningful blogging :D
Anyways, here goes.
'The' moment:
याद है मुझको मेरी उम्र की पहली वो घड़ी
तेरी आँखों से कोई जाम पिया था मैंने
मेरे रग रग में कोई बरक सी लहराई थी
जब तेरे मरमरी हाथों को छुआ था

Wine, Women and Song:
इन्तेहाँ हो गई इन्तेज़ार की
आईना कुछ ख़बर, मेरे यार की

The tiny-winy corner of your heart
थोडी सी ज़मीन, थोड़ा आसमान
तिनकों का बस एक आशियाँ
माँगा हैं तुमसे, वो ज्यादा तो नहीं हैं
देने को तो जान दे दे , वादा तो नहीं हैं
कोई तेरे वादों पे जीता हैं यहाँ

Moving on
खाली हैं शाम आई हैं
खाली हाथ जायेगी, आज भी न आया कोई
खाली लौट जायेगी, खाली हाथ शाम आई हें

Dreams unlimited
देखो मेंने देखा हें ये एक सपना
फूलों के शहर मैं हो घर अपना

Anything for you, ma'am
जिंदगी मैं जो कहीं और मैं खो जाऊँगा
तुमसे मिलने के लिए लौट कर फिर आऊंगा
ए मेरी जान- ऐ- वफ़ा देखना राहें मेरी

Life is a sinusoid...
हजारों ख्वाहिशें ऐसी, की हर ख्वाहिश पे दम निकले
बहुत निकले, मेरे अरमान लेकिन फिर भी कम निकाले

It happened to me...
तुम से मिलके ऐसा लगा तुम से मिलके
अरमान हुए पूरे दिल के आय मेरी जान- ऐ- वफ़ा

It's all your fault!!
दिल की बात न पूछो, दिल तो आता रहेगा
दिल बहकाता रहा हैं, दिल बहकाता रहेगा
तुमने दिल को कुछ समझाया होता

Drunken Revelry
हुज़ूर इस कदर भी न इतराके चलिए
खुले आम आँचल न लहरा के चलिए

Flickr of hope
अल्लाह के बन्दे हंसदे,
जो भी हो कल फिर आएगा

Pensieve
क्या ख़बर, क्या पता,
क्या खुशी हैं, ग़म हैं क्या

Never let me go
तू जहाँ जहाँ चलेगा,
मेरा साया साथ होगा

Happiness is within
मैं आप ही अपनी प्रेमिका
मैं आप ही अपनी सहेली

Winds of change
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Far from the madding crowds
कहीं दूर जब दिन ढल जाए,
सांझ की दुल्हन बदन चुराए
चुपके से आए

Screw it.
सेज नहीं चिता सही,
जो भी मिले सोना होगा
न कोई तेरा, न कोई मेरा,
फिर किस की याद आई

Tagged:
Sakshi,
Dhivya (passing on the toothache again you see)
Sidin
Sanjeev - The "Daddy cool"

Blast in Bangalore

A blast in Bangalore! I mean how can we have a blast here?

Already we have no electricity, no petrol, no diesel, no infrastucture, no pavements to drive on (yeah, we drive on pavements, for the lack of space elsewhere), no rains, no metro , not even a proper name to call the city - "bangalore? bengalooru? bengaluroo? what??"... and now, of all things, we have a blast??? Isnt the city already on its way to ruin by itself that one H-A-D to put in a blast into this concotion as well ?

moi is in a state of denial, and indignation. Tres angry for the blast.

Called up family; no one near the blast site. *whew*; no friends currently in bengalooru so, no immediate shok sabhas to attend.

Updates later.

Edit1 - http://www.ibnlive.com/news/three-blasts-rock-bangalore-one-killed/69540-3.html Edit2 - its 7 blasts! all at very busy areas; while people at office try to make sure loved ones are safe; the mobile phone lines are all jammed. Here's the link2 which gives a video of what happened. http://www.ndtv.com/convergence/ndtv/videopod/default.aspx?id=0 and this link talks of the 7 blasts -

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/7_blasts_rock_Bangalore_2_dead_20_wounded/articleshow/3279730.cms

SMSes and emails pour in hoping Im alright, to everyone reading the blog, I am okay, and hope everyone of you out there is okay.

Incase anyone wants to get in touch with someone in Blore and make sure that they are alright, just put in a comment here with their email/ phone number and I shall try and reach them and post a comment back here stating if they are alright.

Edit 3: Traffic jam rules *sheesh* people try and keep off those places now.

It was a low intensity blast with gelatin sticks being used. but since it was highly populated - lot of injuries I guess.

@ anons - if you dont understand the language used or the meaning of the sentences written, *shrugs* keep your ideas to yourself. thanks.

Edit 4 : latest news says one very near to one of our office campuses!!!! Whoa! another one is slated to go off is the rumor around. I shall put up updates as and when I get it. hang in there guys. Take care everyone.

Edit 5: I sent my team home - better safe than sorry... aint it? for the others, please go home, and please please and for chrissakes please follow traffic rules, I understand its a major jam and chaos out there, but please maintain sanity, calm and traffic rules. Office transport has been suspended and GOK when I can reach home ...

Edit 6: 9 Bombs in 8 places! Wont this stop at all! :-O

Placeholder

Prologue:
after a very frustrating end of week, today has been a bitter-sweet day for me. Ironically, today is the one day when I want to talk of it aloud and share it with those dearest to me, but for a variety of reasons, cannot.
I want this to be recorded now - 5:48 PM on 14th of July 2008 - just so that when I tear my hair out about this decision at a later point of time, I can read and remember how beautiful today has been for me.
So, if today has been so beautiful (until now that is) why would I tear my hair out about today at a later point of time - is that what I hear you ask? Excellent Koschen.
~~ ~~ ~~
You see, there was this day when I stepped into the corridors of what you call - An MNC. A girl who lived in small towns all her life (Ahemdabad and Bangalore were small towns then) , to whom the most posh interior was that of the hospital who's statutary audit she was asked to do. Who had never ever, despite having lived in Bangalore for 5 years earlier, stepped into MG/ Brigade road - who was embarrassed to see low waist jeans and tank top Tees on reed thin girls. It was this wide eyed girl who stepped into the "big-bad" world of corporate culture. Nothing that she had read in company law or financial management had ever braced her for the opulence and the glitter of the actual companies.
A good 18 months later, she found herself being one among them - yet at a respectful distance. She knew who she was, and she knew that in order to live through the office, she would have to morph into someone she was not. thus two distinct personalties shaped up. 18 months later, the want to do something bigger and better landed her in front of a phone from which a strangely Indo-American accent was spoken. Being the naive girl she was at heart, she laughed out loud when the interviewer asked her what P.U.C. was thus almost ruining every chance at stepping up the rung, albeit a very small step.
It was this man, who had interviewed her, met her in a foriegn land some months later, where she had very naively (she was a dumbo then) worn salwar kameez while it was common place to be seen in a bikini. From that day onwards he and she have been inseparable - cold and distant in their own ways, yet, admire each other for their abilities, joke occasionally about him being more photogenic than he is in person, and her utter lack of directional abilities, his choice of shirts and her obsessive disgust of any meat on her plate, his need for cigarettes and alchohol and her distaste and loathing to both.
He was her boss and her most favorite boss at that, in turn she was someone whom he could count on, forever for any report at any time of the day. One day, he moved to the enemy territory. She no longer reported to him. Though they still worked together, she missed him sorely. But him not being her boss meant no longer to make sense of one word emails sent in the middle of the night, no more reporting to someone sitting far away in the amreeka, she had moved up a rung too, occupied the place where he was until a few days back. When they spoke now, it was professional, and he referred to a different set of people as "my team". It was exciting, as much as it was heart breaking. He afterall was the boss she had always liked. She, in the meanwhile, built her own team, she had her team - her "kids" - to think of. She loved her team and tried to be as good a boss as he was to her. She had learnt a lot from him.

Today, she decided that she will reject another position, an oppurtunity to manage twice the people she had earlier, to move in with him. She will be quitting a team in which she has worked for almost 4 years, to join him. He trusts her with his work and that is what is important to her, the designation does not matter, nor does it matter that it will extremely huge amount of work, she doesnt think of how hard the transition would be. All she thinks of, is working with her fav boss again. And she loves it.

Yet, someday, when he sends her a one liner/ one word as the subject of the email with the body itself blank, she will tear her hair out trying to decipher what it is, that he intends to say, or whether he even meant that email to her, she will regret today.
That is when I want her to come back and read this email, for she likes what she has chosen, and it has been her choice to do this.

:-)

Update: After days and weeks of frustration, my "daddy" likes his new position too. Hip hip hurray to him :-) ... we were all so concerned about you "daddy", hope you always smile the way you do today.

The Several People

all of us has more than person within themselves, dont we? the person who sits upright at class - the no nonsense geek is one, the giggly drunk friend is one, the motherly affectionate friend is one, the selfish, destructive, self centered bitch is one, the dutiful daughter, the corporate junkie, I could list on and on.
I wonder, do the lines blur ever? Does the dutiful daughter scream out loud "for fuck's sake" to her family? or does the tom-boy friend ever admit that she likes Notting Hill and has watched it over 15 times already and every single time she watches, she sheds a couple of tears - for relations that are, for relations that were, and for relations that will never be.

I wonder sometimes, why the lines ever dont blur at all - why the calm exterior of "im strong and can take care of life" while the insides churn with so much unsaid pain? Why are the walls so water-tight? Afterall, it IS the same me, isnt it? why is it that "one" person longs to cry out and sob, while the other takes charge of the external world?

Is it a defence mechanism? Is it to "show" that the person is not what she feels? that the dutiful daughter must hold the family's temper, the affectionate friend must not allow the friends to know she is sad lest she ruins their evening, that the tomboy perched on the ledge can never have tears ... I dont know why.

What does the cool dudette achieve by showing off that nothing affects her? What does the dutiful daughter achieve by saying "its okay, nothing's wrong"? What is it that the always childish friend achieves by not saying out loud the pain that she feels? What does the tom boy get, if she cant talk about all that's wrong to her "best-friend"? Whom does she try to decieve? Is the deception intentional? Is it deception at all?
When you play all these roles together, what are you? a puppet? a person? an actor?
----Update----
Is it because; the realisation exists that be it pain, happiness, anger or disgust, all the emotions are but momentary and unnecessary to existence?
Is it because making each identity porus will lead the eventual death of all the identities? Acceptance of the fact that one likes Notting Hill will lead to the eventual death of the tom-boy, wearing emotions on the sleeve will spell the end of the hard nosed corporate employee? It is the love of each identity in itself that strengthens the abyss between them?
Maybe, may not be.
Anyways, doodling doesnt need a reason.
Di- thy tag shall be done.

well,

When you are at your nadir - people who bother to commiserate, and do so genuinely
When you are at your pinnacle - people who bother to rejoice, and do so without malice
are people whom you should never let go. They are probably the only ones who will mourn when you no longer walk the face of earth.

Take it from me - a person who, as a friend reminded, from today is on the wrong side part of twenties.