So much

So much time wasted, so many emotions spent.

So much in thinking about what the world feels, so much about how you look in the eyes of the world, so much about wanting the world to like you, so much about wanting to like the world.

So much to erase the sense of inferiority, so much to stop the craving for companionship.

So many walls built, so many "I dont cares" to mask the reality of caring too much, so many thorns hoping that someone shall find the rose within

So many sleepless nights pondering, musing and worrying about the future, should you be a doctor, would the world rather have you be an engineer. Would the family respect a chartered accountant, or would you just rather please a husband and be a good housewife?

So many questions on how to earn the respect, awe and wonder of the world, so much spent in trying to cover up all your tiny and huge faults.

So much thought put into "spontaneity" so many rehearsed "witty" lines, funny and charming and worldwise, isnt that what people want?

And a decade later. Still Trying.

So Much.

It is indeed sad to be you.