Tuesday, April 12

DD -- The Lost Soul

Ive lost my diary, I dont know when , but Ive lost it. My DD ... stupid name for most , Dearest Diary to me. Ive searched high and low for it , upturned my room making it cleaner ( you see my room is in a state of perpetual mess , try doing just anything to it , and the only thing you can end doing is cleaning it up !) and in this process , I got old photographs, albums, CDs, Cassettes, letters, greetings, trinkets, gifts, momentos, scraps of paper, old pompoms , old cosmetics (had to throw these though) books I had forgotten I had , clothes which have now long gone out of fashion, love letters , valentine ribbons , slam books , a drawing i'd in in 5th standard , and a host of other things . But I did not get my diary :(( . O! Damn Ive begun to feel so sorry for the both of us ( me and DD) , We ve never been apart ever since she (i dont like to call my DD a "IT") I carry it everywhere . DD goes with Arpz , wherever Arpz is , you could be sure her DD is not far away but not now , Ive lost it !

Anyone who finds it will see onthing but words , mere ink on paper ,
Anyone who reads will read nothing ...... silly musings .. from childhood crushes to my first kiss,
from those Letters to God to Discussions with HIM,from borrowed punchlines to self written poetry, from anger to jealousy , from Monday to Sunday , from own scribblings to friends' phone numbers , from must do lists to should avoid lists ,some lyrics of songs I like the most , from some doodles to some paintings . Nothing more
No Nothing more at all.
But the one who feels it , who talks to it , who writes in it , will then know that
it is not bad poetry, it is not musings of what Vivekananda said , Not a repetition of the teachings of Sree Ramakrishna , not a graphical description of my first boyfriend, not notes of priorities of the year , not scribblings on the important points for CA .... the book is in a way Arpana,

It is my soul , my life ,my fears and tears , my anger and hatred , my sorrow and happiness, my love and my jealousy those sweet memories captured on paper for ever and ever. It is not a book of mine , it is not even a part of me but it is ME.

I am seldom emotionally attached , but this time when I cry , my whole world ( a very small one , but yet a significant one for me ) mkourns with me , because Ive lost me , I lost my DD , my best friend , my mate , my companion , my best secret keeper.

This is for my DD .....

I dont know where you are DD , but you are my best friend , a friend who has helped me through all stages of my life , lent a patient hearing ( or should I say lent a patient page ) I wanted you to be mine and stay with me forever and then accompany me to my grave , but now DD I mourn your loss , Im sorry DD , Im so sorry, DD I love you and will keep loving you , I'll Miss you forever and ever.
Im sorry DD , I miss that goodnight kiss I gave you everynight .... but DD , I hope where ever you are , with whomever you are , you are happy .
Yours lovingly,

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