Invite him home , and he will find a time where there is just one person at home , nightmare .. night mare .. its not over yet ... well if you have any fancy notions outta your head cos he is a special kind of a person .....
Do you want to see the walking talking modern day Frankenstien?
Well , I can give you an intro to him ...
This man will never talk ! no matter what happens , he will never smile !
He'll just sit and snatch the remote of the telly and keep surfing thro the channels ... will never watch anything for more than 3 minutes ! ( I swear ! Ive kept count )
Talk to him for half an hour and you will be lucky to get a teeny weeny grunt outta him ! something that sounds like a "yeah" and a "fckk" at the same time !
Ask him about his trip to the US and he will say ( wonder of wonders ! a whole sentence from him ! ) "It was like a dejavu" ! (and if you are wonderiung why that , well , he's been to US quite a lotta times)
Give him a cup of tea ( now that gets him started) .. he'll not be satisfied even if youve asked the chef Sanjeev Kapoor to brew it !
Ask him for Dinner , well , another sentence ( if you are lucky ... a couple) "I eat late "/ " I dont eat if I dont get any papads"
Just when you thought that the night mare was over and he's finally left ( not that I would mind if he stayed the whole night ! But I need conversation man ! talk .. sense , nonsense , no sense or whatever .... but I hate a silent person ! )
You get invited to a party , a function or a get together....
And then you......
Meet him in a crowded party , well, you could have met your worst night mare and smiled yet !
He will look at you , you might smile , his eyes remain blank ... you may raise your hand to acknowledge him , his will stay firmly onto the camera he's holding !
Talk to him , and you get a stare ... well Ive begun to interpret the stares now ... a long hard stare means "buzz off ! Im not the least interested" , a small furtive glance means "Im not the person you will want to talk to" , a stare for a minute means "Im not here , why are you here"
well ... I dunno why Im writing this , mabbe cos Im stuck with his creepy guy so many times at all the parties at home that i felt persuaded to put down on paper the influence this great man has on me ! Well , me an outsider to most others you see...
Arpana , who has done her degree in a distant place , who doesnt know the road opposite Brigade road is Residency road but has her office there , Arpana who went to South East Asia when the rest of the world is running to US , Arpana ... the freak who ended up with something as gross as CA , Arpana who said "NO" to a marriage with a filthy rich guy cos he dint want her to work ! ( imagine that ! getting married at 21 !!! uggghhhhhhh) Arpana who speaks Kannada the way anyone would speak English or Hindi , Arpana who uses all kinda slang in her language !
So i get to hang out with this wonderful person .... well , atleast he doesnt say anything when I talk about guys and their stupidity or about what I think about the moon of Saturn not being born along with Saturn but having gotten pulled towards it !
Well , this guy is my cousin , so I guess I need to put up with this guy ! I pity the girl who ever gets married to this guy ! Im hoping for her sake , she is gonna be a deaf and mute girl , ne1 else would go mad !