Ok ! so this is the third time in my 1 year + , 100 posts+ stay in the blogosphere.
The firstwaa was tagged by >Ranju who once thought my views on Bookswaa were good enough to be taggedwaa the next was by Taru on this - Tagged: ! ( dont ask me why im on waa , humka kaa pata hum bas aise hi hain babuwaa :p)And now Shekar (jisne phirst attempt main mere naam ka kachoomar bana diya tha , phir baad main changewaa kar liya hain abhi ! J baat hain shekharda **giving the thumbs up sign**)
Ab hum kaa kahe hamaar sabse hated cheezon ke baare main , koi kahat hain ki unka hate naami cheez hi nahin hain. To koi aur ek unending list banata hain aur kahta hain pet peeves (intershting namewaa !!)
Ab waise humka zyaada baat karne ki aadat to hain nahin, aur hamra clock jo hain abhi timewaa 11:22 PM dikha raha hain, aur humka kal subah phiveoKclock bhi uthna hain, to hum seedhe aa jaate hain pointwaa pe !
To hamaar sabse hated cheezein hum yahaan likhte hain dekhliyo!
1. Misspelling !
O Dayyyymmmmnnnnn how I hate my name being misspelt or pronounced . Many a battle fought for the sake of my name. I also hate it when people say "Arpana?? shouldnt that be like Aparna? is it a distirtion of Aparna, is that what your name is?" ewww God save these people from me ! I could kill them!
2. Hypocrisy !
XYZ - "Ooooooooo ! I Love Novels ! Which one are you reading now babes?"
Me - "Ghosts of Sleath"
XYZ - "Huh ! Thyyyaaat one! I read that long back ! Sidney Sheldon naa?"
Me - **Looking for a garrot to strangle them** "No, its James Herbert"
XYZ - Huh James? James what? Im sure the book is not worth reading! By the way, did you read the S** joke collection by Khushwanth Singh? Its Fyaab maynnn !
( PS If the XYZ's reconginsed himself/herself, pls dont strangle me with the garrot, Rest of the junta - If Im dead , you'll know whom to blame.)
3. Non Acceptance / Irresponsibility
Put the bloody blame on others , go ahead pass the buck ! Sing along with Shaggy , say "It wasnt me" ! But please , when you do that, stay away from me !
"huh" ! "You know , Im the highest scorer !"
" What the ? Do you even know the spelling of C++ or for that matter, do you know what RDBMS means?"
Damn you , I dont need to know , do you know what is the connection of Sec 269UA of the transfer of propert act with the Income Tax Act and its implications?
Infact can you even repeat what I just said ? Oh and BTW , RDBMS stands for relational database management systems.
I mean , everyone is good at this or that, a few are good at this and that, no one is this that and the other ! So keep your mouth shut , if you cant , keep your words sweet, you neva know when you'll have to eat them back !
5. Beauty - as in Skin Deep
When they talk to you over phone , they'll love you , when they know about your achievements, they'll admire you , when they see you, they'll wrinkle their noses!
I mean What the heck man !I am what I am ! If I cant differenciate between a rouge and a rogue , I just cant, so what?
If I weigh a ton, I weigh a ton , my poor legs bear the brunt, Do I ask you to carry me around or do I come and sit on your lap?
6.Noises - camera
Ewwww ! show me the loo ! I hafta retch ! Hasnt your mom told you to make no noises when you eat? And puhleaaasseee! Even if we are Indians and have the right of eating by hand , please try not to look like a chimpanzee let loose , the curd dripping from the back of the elbow, the rice sticking out from one side of the moustache, the intake of "Sambhar or rasam" making the guy in front's plate fly towards you ! Why? Cant you atleast give a semblance of being human?
Ahh and part 2 Camera - Daymn ! I understand marriages are a big thing for people who get married and they would want to remember the biggest mistake they ever made all through their lives , but puhlease for Gods Sake why film the poor us who've come there because our parents asked us to, and the only thing we're looking for is the food? So damn embarrasing trying to pose for posterity when you have a dripping gulab jamun in your hands! yuckkkkkkk
I hate voices that sound like as though you are trying to rid the blackboard of its rash using your fingernails !
I hate gruff voices , esp over the phone, I mean , please do a course on telephonic etiquette , I also hate people who think everyone is interested in what they are talking over the phone , like I have this colleague who goes
(the original conv is in a south Indian language - literal transalation)
Ms X - Heyyy daahhrrling ! where are you? and what was naughty SMS about?
Me - huh? whaa? Oh Ok you are on the phone , **politely move away**
Ms X - **Inching towards me **, so tell me what do you want to do when we meet? **winks at me**
Me - **Look at myself. Am I looking like a lesbo?**
Ms X - **rubbing herself against me , in a definetly wrong manner, and in a loud voice** - So tell me dude, what are you thinking of now?
Me - Unable not to overhear, she is practically in my ears now ! - Look , all I want to do is run , are you game?
Also , ever gone to a movie and heard the ringtone of the song thats just being played now?
Ever been in a crowded bus with a gal shouting "Haan haan do cup cheeni" Makes me mutter "aur kitne japaani?"
9. Authority / Superiority - trying to impose themselves on me is a total no-no to me ! I hate that, I will get back to them !
Trying to tell me Im inferior - (grinning wickedly ) you will soon know! Cos even if really am inferior, youve just motivated me to slap you back hard and nice on your face , maybe by action now and words later!
8. Not the Last, Not the Least ( I could go on for ever)- Leching
Yuck ! I dont what kind of worst sickos those men are !
They'll come up to you and try to feel you up, or just come and follow you until you decide to either turn back and slap them or just call on for help, or the most common third option, fume and fret and feel dirty but do nothing about it !
Esp these sickos in crowded buses, trying to board and get down from the ladies end , you just have to look for them , no infact , you dont have to, they are just everywhere and just go around badnaaming the entire mard zaat! my sympathies to the rest of the folk!
Also included are these sick psychos you get to meet on the net,
Who will first talk to you well and ok for the first 2 min and then ping you with
"Do you wanna suck baby?"
How I wish there was an online chapaat I cld give to such bloody mfks !
A softer version is the "I love you types"
Will talk to you for Minutes/hours/(watever) and end up saying "I love you", will you be my virtual love? Ive had atleast 17 such proposals and am still counting ! But then , there are some decent guys Ive met online ,and many of them offline too now and are very very good frnds ( GOK wat i wld have done without some of them in my life).
Now for tagging.
Sam - I dont think there is anything he'll hate , bbut lets see,
Lalit - this guy too, seems so chweet,I doubt if he has nething , if so, even then , Im sure this guy will be diplomatic about it
Taru - Ahh I can rely on her for a good account of hated things.
FU - I want each of us to put in one thing each.
PS - I'll put in the hyperlinks etc 2mrw (aha no , today, but later in the day - I say today, cos its past 12:30AM now ! )