The Anon comments are the ones I have never got before. I have written more than 350 posts in the past 3 years. Almost a post every 3 days on an average. Sometimes three posts a day were up too.
Earlier, I wrote in a diary of mine. It was explicit and it was I. I still have the diary. I have notes for the future … I had reminisces of the past. It was everything that was I. It was spiritual at times, materialistic, abusive even, sad, happy, wishes and reminders.
I sometimes miss that diary. I do not write in it any longer. One reason being that the number of empty pages left over in it is dwindling down. I want to write something really touching in them. Not the usual ennui.
The other and the main reason being for sometime, I had lost it. The sense of loss was so great that I cried for days together refusing to live without it. I lost it as I was going through one of the toughest phases of life. I needed the diary, and somehow, it seemed as though even the lifeless diary had deserted me then. I did not want it any longer now. I wanted to be in control now. Not be governed by anyone or anything.
Trust seems so masculine. The word seems so strong – 2 Ts lending it the character. In fact it is the most fragile of words… the two strong Ts are hollow within. It takes one blow to fall down and never recover. I have lost trust, broken it down to smithereens, in people and in my diary.
That is when the blog came alive. I wrote on the blog earlier, but it was a random writing once in a few months. It came alive with the loss of my DD (diary).
Hence, the blog was not what it is today. It was a close and a personal thing that I guarded with utmost zeal. Any comments on the post would be promptly deleted. Most of the earlier posts have no comments, not because no one commented, but because I did not want any. I did not read any other blogs too, because it was, as I perceived, personal.
All this was almost 3 years back. A lot has changed today. We all evolve and my blog has evolved too. The tone is less personal (though; if you read between the lines, the person in the lines seeps through); I am more tolerant and in fact appreciative of comments on my blog. The more the merrier now. I ask people not to email me or ping me about the content, rather comment on the blog itself.
I have met several new friends through the blog. Shekhar, Tapan, Taru to name a few. I love reading their blogs and their points of view of life and everything else. I connect deeply with a few, I identify with a few. I understand their heartbreaks and their frustration with life to an extent, there are some I am deeply concerned about, and I will call them, take time out and spend it with them, reach out and love them deeply. There are yet some, whom I neither understand, nor identify with, but the only reason I do read them is that I like the writing. To me, they are nothing more than a few lines of writing.
In spite of the varied outlook I have when I read a blog; if there is one thing I do not do; its leaving malicious anon comments. If I feel something written there is untrue, so be it. If I hate something written there, good, I am entitled to. What I'm not entitled to; is to leave comments that hurt the sentiment of the writer. Hitler hasn’t taken over the cyber space yet. When he does, lets all become Nazis. Until then, lets respect each other’s emotions and spaces. When Hitler rules supreme, lets then decide who should be on whose blog and who should not be. Lets then lay down the rules about who should be named what in each other’s blog. Let’s also prevent people from having friendships online, let’s censor the need to reach out to another human being.
When Hitler rules the cyber space, that is.
Until then, minions, hold your peace.
Kindly hold your peace.
We shall have a discussion of my sexual life ; we shall tear the men apart for sleeping with me ; even if they haven’t, we’ll discuss my fetish with names and alphabets denoting peoples, we’ll abuse each other of “enjoying” the “man”; we’ll share confidences about the men I love to hate and hate to love.
Have patience my dear ones, have patience dear cronies of Hitler. Let him rule the cyber space and then , I promise, we will.