after a very frustrating end of week, today has been a bitter-sweet day for me. Ironically, today is the one day when I want to talk of it aloud and share it with those dearest to me, but for a variety of reasons, cannot.
I want this to be recorded now - 5:48 PM on 14th of July 2008 - just so that when I tear my hair out about this decision at a later point of time, I can read and remember how beautiful today has been for me.
So, if today has been so beautiful (until now that is) why would I tear my hair out about today at a later point of time - is that what I hear you ask? Excellent Koschen.
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You see, there was this day when I stepped into the corridors of what you call - An MNC. A girl who lived in small towns all her life (Ahemdabad and Bangalore were small towns then) , to whom the most posh interior was that of the hospital who's statutary audit she was asked to do. Who had never ever, despite having lived in Bangalore for 5 years earlier, stepped into MG/ Brigade road - who was embarrassed to see low waist jeans and tank top Tees on reed thin girls. It was this wide eyed girl who stepped into the "big-bad" world of corporate culture. Nothing that she had read in company law or financial management had ever braced her for the opulence and the glitter of the actual companies.
A good 18 months later, she found herself being one among them - yet at a respectful distance. She knew who she was, and she knew that in order to live through the office, she would have to morph into someone she was not. thus two distinct personalties shaped up. 18 months later, the want to do something bigger and better landed her in front of a phone from which a strangely Indo-American accent was spoken. Being the naive girl she was at heart, she laughed out loud when the interviewer asked her what P.U.C. was thus almost ruining every chance at stepping up the rung, albeit a very small step.
It was this man, who had interviewed her, met her in a foriegn land some months later, where she had very naively (she was a dumbo then) worn salwar kameez while it was common place to be seen in a bikini. From that day onwards he and she have been inseparable - cold and distant in their own ways, yet, admire each other for their abilities, joke occasionally about him being more photogenic than he is in person, and her utter lack of directional abilities, his choice of shirts and her obsessive disgust of any meat on her plate, his need for cigarettes and alchohol and her distaste and loathing to both.
He was her boss and her most favorite boss at that, in turn she was someone whom he could count on, forever for any report at any time of the day. One day, he moved to the enemy territory. She no longer reported to him. Though they still worked together, she missed him sorely. But him not being her boss meant no longer to make sense of one word emails sent in the middle of the night, no more reporting to someone sitting far away in the amreeka, she had moved up a rung too, occupied the place where he was until a few days back. When they spoke now, it was professional, and he referred to a different set of people as "my team". It was exciting, as much as it was heart breaking. He afterall was the boss she had always liked. She, in the meanwhile, built her own team, she had her team - her "kids" - to think of. She loved her team and tried to be as good a boss as he was to her. She had learnt a lot from him.
Today, she decided that she will reject another position, an oppurtunity to manage twice the people she had earlier, to move in with him. She will be quitting a team in which she has worked for almost 4 years, to join him. He trusts her with his work and that is what is important to her, the designation does not matter, nor does it matter that it will extremely huge amount of work, she doesnt think of how hard the transition would be. All she thinks of, is working with her fav boss again. And she loves it.
Yet, someday, when he sends her a one liner/ one word as the subject of the email with the body itself blank, she will tear her hair out trying to decipher what it is, that he intends to say, or whether he even meant that email to her, she will regret today.
That is when I want her to come back and read this email, for she likes what she has chosen, and it has been her choice to do this.
Update: After days and weeks of frustration, my "daddy" likes his new position too. Hip hip hurray to him :-) ... we were all so concerned about you "daddy", hope you always smile the way you do today.