Chronicles of a Wedded Life

Right, so the longest disappearing act ever?

*smiles*

Its been a month that Ive been married for today. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it was today that Aishwarya Rai and the wife of the guy sitting across my workstation along with half the female population on the earth heaved a collective sigh last month, not to mention the guys in the facilities department of my company who had a touch time cleaning up all that drool. I am told that the day when we had water scarcity, all this water was used to ..err… lets leave the gross details out, shall we? Curiously, today is Thursday the 19th, the same day and date as last month. Whatay miracle don’t you think so?

Days have flown by so fast, that the Airbus 380 hides its face in shame. It just seems like yesterday, when my mother appraised me with tear filled eyes,

When I said “No Mamma no, I hate tears” with the enthusiasm of a certain actor who has degraded himself to playing roles in soft porn movies, I did not know, that I had spoken too soon, because, she wiped off her tears in a hurry, lest I think she is suffering and refuse to go, and said,
“arre, pagli, ye to khushi ke aansoo hain, ab ghar main kachra karne wala koi nahin hain na” (Oh you insane, these are the tears of joy, the house shall be spotlessly clean from tomorrow)

I turned to my brother in a sudden emotional movement, and pulled him away from all those drooling girls he was impressing with the 8grand Sherwani that I bought him in a rush of brotherly affection. He turned towards me and very gravely gave me a look, that probably could have inspired the Dev Sahab’s Phoolon ka taaron ka song. If only, he had stopped at that, why O why did he have to open his mouth and say
“so, sister, don’t you dare take all those DVDs away, I'm keeping the computer, the Mp3 player, the DVD collection, the uber cool mobile that you have (you can take my Nokia 1100 instead), the parker pen and …..” he would have gone on, if not for the interference of a particularly cute looking girl in Pink who told him his sherwani looked cute. My 8 Grand you scheming fox of a brother, I grunted as he coolly turned his back to me.

Ever since, my hubby has been seen hunting for part time jobs, he says he cannot afford to have me at home with his current level of income. We didn’t go on a honey moon, because I fell in love with a certain MAC store in namma bengaluru and decided to spend a forty odd thousand there. Currently, as I blog, my hubby’s painting letters on a cardboard, which reads “will sell wife for money”.

On a serious note though, they say time flies when you are happy, and drags on forever when you are morose. So, it should be proof enough when I say, that me and the hubby dearest got up today morning, and exclaimed – Its been a month already? I fluttered my eyelids and told him that it seemed more like a couple of days rather than a month, and coyly smiled at him (with an expression that begged for a “yes dearest, and in celebration I shall get you a DeBeers diamond necklace) but instead he stared back at me in horror, pulled out his hair (which I don’t think is a good idea … I don’t really like bald guys you know) and sucked his thumb and sulked to him mom “Do I really need to spend the rest of my life with her? Is’nt a month worth of punishment bad enough already?”
I am, of course but kidding, he didn’t suck his thumb, he just covered his face and sobbed uncontrollably

So, there. That’s the first month of married life for you. Oh, by the way, I almost forgot, I have started cooking at our home. The hubby’s family doctor is overjoyed. And you won’t get a single word out of me, on this subject. Period.

I have also started shopping for groceries, and I'm told Big Bazaar officials spoke to CNN the other day, and they were heard remarking “recession? What recession? We are not undergoing any recession, in fact, our sales have tripled over the last one month. We are seeing a huge spending on items that are totally unnecessary for household use … the credit card of one Mr. Hubby dearest is the most utilized. I am sure he has gotten a few lakh as his salary increment, else no fool would spend as much in one month.

In other news, I am yet to get fully adjusted to the new home and all, and am yet to get used to saying “my husband” or saying “Mrs. Justso” when someone asks for my name, I need to remember to wear all the sindoor and the gajra and keep my pallu intact and all that stuff, but its kinda fun.

Cant say I don’t miss being single though. All that flirting, oogling and line maaroing is all in the past. All that giggling over the mysteries of the S word is all gone, I feel all grown up, and adult, where talking of sasuraal genda phool and bachon ki planning isn’t something that aunties do, and asking “what did u cook for breakfast” doesn’t elicit a “chee, who cooks dude” but instead is a conversation starter. So many dreams crushed in the wheels of life, so many newer dreams taking root in the path of life.