Assorted Rants.

And no, no excuses or apologies for not being around on the blog scene. If there is anyone reading other than those anons who have sent me 12 comments about where I can get good loans/ porn etc, I have done you a favor by not writing. You were free from my wickedness for so long.

So, back to my assorted rants.

- Buying a house is more pain in lots of places than you can imagine. And if you think that its an exhilarating joy that you get at the end of it, you are wrong. All you get is a deep sense of relief that now you no longer need to put up with brokers and agents and builders and government officials and masons and carpenters and tile layers and , well you get the point.

- Shifting to a new house is much more places that tend to give you a lesson in anatomy. Cramps and pulls and strings and sprains and aches and what not leave you wallowing in pain and your doctor laughing to the nearest bank. Ouch.

- Buying a news paper which according to you is a rag, is a drag. Well I made that up. But TOI is most annoying and shitty piece of toilet paper I have ever seen. No scratch that. It isn’t good enough to even be a toilet paper. And now with their hypocritical, circulation increasing tactic of Aman ki Asha, I hate it even more. Come to think of it, if Karan Johar or Farah Khan had thought of this title, we would be watching a 3 hour drivel of SRK + (put any heroine’s name here) supposed love story where they

a) Run away and get married (shedding oceans of tears through out) or
b) Get imprisoned and stay mute until another heroine decides to take up some screen time or
c) Get married and then realize Men are from Mars and Women from Venus and end up making you nauseous about marriage and aftermath or
d) Die a slow 3 hour death of some unheard disease, and kill our brains in the meantime too.

Karan would have named it Kamaan ki Kanksha.

Seriously though. Face the fact. Our “friendly” neighbours aren’t friendly, and we could without them as neighbours. We don’t need a mushy syrup where some really out of work/ jobless/ hankering for more fame than they deserve/ I'm just doing this, because it increases my star value celebrities to team up and talk about Aman and his Asha.

Agreed war isn’t the answer. Terrorism or hypocritical bus services or newspaper adverts, isn’t too.

Well, enough about this rant. Lets move on.

- SRK, I thought was getting Gayer as he got old. Now I realize, he is not just getting more gay by the day, but also more mentally deranged. He and his bunch of retards who decided to talk out against the IPL decision. Now, I'm not a big fan of IPL, but I know one thing. You don’t call enemies to your party, definitely not those who sponsor terrorism in your country and who strike at the roots of your communal harmony and economic prosperity. Look at the number of travel advisories that have been issued due to terrorism.
- Sadly, the people talking out against SRK, are as half ass crazy as him too. Like the devil and the deep sea, it is a catch 22 situation. You cannot negate one without appearing to side with the other.

And now, Back to some near the home base rants –

- Birthing a baby isn’t all that rainbows and butterflies like they say it is. Agreed it is the joy of motherhood and blah blah blah and some more blah. Those Blahs will only make sense to me, if you undergo cramps in your stomach and constipation and back aches and nausea and dizziness and bitter taste in the mouth and hormonal changes and itches all over your body and a permanent PMSey mood. That list excludes the assorted medicines including those that you have to stick up your **** .
Being hungry and throwing up the minute you see food is a worse curse than poverty and not being able to get food to eat.


Looking back at all that I have typed, Looks like I have set up ample reasons to get myself killed, I have managed to anger the newswallahs, actors and celebrities, political parties and blissfully content mothers, and all in one single post.

Wow.

Looks like I haven’t lost touch with doing dangerous stuff ;-).