Wednesday, February 2

and, (wait for it) another Rant!!

like Rants are anything new in this space!

Came back home after a long long time from mom's place (rant here) just to find the home not as much that. had to struggle hard to find one foot of clean space ... I mean what is it with people other than the wife/ D-I-L living when she isnt around? Is there a rule that the house must be dirtied? the cooking bench so sticky that the vessels are stuck to it? The bathroom so unclean that even rodents would think twice before entering? Every wardrobe smelly and every thing just out of its place, everything having a fine powder of dust a thick layer of sticky grime on it.
Wall paint barely recognizable, because they have been touched a dozen times with grimy hands, every door creaking, all taps have umpteen layers of deposit on them,most of them are leaking and all of them have dirt in their filters so the water doesnt flow easily. The tiles in the bathroom are black - would things get so dirty? I mean who the hell lived here? An elderly lady and a 30 something man - pray help me understand how did things manage to get so damn dirty. Even the ceiling is sticky, for chrissakes! What DID you guys do? JUST WHAT DID you do?

I step in with a 5 month old in here, and I dont have a single clean area to place the kid down; even the foams inside of the couch is dirty!

With a 5 month bawling howling kid in tow - the place is now 60% clean having used up umpteen cleaning agents all at once and having had acid burns on my palms, soles and almost every part of my body. All of this because they decided that keeping the house clean is "someone's" responsibility. Even when that someone is away giving birth and nursing a child. I mean just what is it? How could someone live in these conditions and still do nothing about it?

Granted we dont have household help, but one can always get hired help to clean the house, you dont need a member of the family to slog for this - do you? How hard is to pay some money and supervise them when they are working? Why is it difficult to live in a clean house?

When the house finally gets clean, you manage to say you missed someone, not because you missed them, but the order and the cleanliness that comes with that person, you missed me, because now your hand kerchiefs are where you like them to be, that shoe shine cloth is where it is easily accessible, you dont have to run to the store for every small thing, because someone has made a list and bought it from the grocery - you can now stop thinking about not having medicines or milk or curd or toothpaste or well, just any damn thing because there is this person who keeps tab on everything.
Did you ever think about how much time she spends cleaning, cooking, nursing, cleaning up the potty and manages to handle a full time 9 hour job in the meanwhile - oh wait, we forgot about the 3 hour travel to reach the 9 hour job destination - and about how much time it leaves for her to just sit down and enjoy a hot cup of tea? Well, Im sure you did not. So let me tell you - ZERO. she has no time to either make the tea or enjoy it. She is busy pampering the whole lot of you.

I hate being an Indian Wife.

Actually, I hate my family for convincing me to get married. Life was way better when I was single. Oh wait - then I had to hear about how my cousins much younger were getting married - "even if it is a love marriage, atleast she is tying the knot" and how other younger cousins were "set for marriage" instead of the scandalous "It seems she has a boyfriend", indirect barbs about "oh, so your friend is now on the family way. you know, things should happen at the right times" and the not so indirect - "you know I was 22 when I had you. It has been a whole 3 years past that age for you".
Why is marriage and clean home and children and husband and in-laws and a miserable life such a big deal in our society? WHY?


Indian Home Maker said...

That must have been very frustrating and disappointing. They could have prepared to welcome the third adult and a new family member back by a special cleaning, even if they were comfortable in a disorganised mess otherwise.

But I also feel, married life needn't be all about cleaning and housework. Since they lived for so long without it, it's possible that they are quite comfortable living a disorganized life in an untidy, even dirty house. Do only as much as feels comfortable.

Because I feel there is little time to relax for the Sanskari Bahu.(click to read)

Phoenix said...

I agree. Every time I read ur posts or talk to you, I get convinced never to get married.

Nagging parents or not.

Arpz said...

@ IHM - The truth is, I dont think I would have felt this bad, if they were chronically that - it is the attitude that says -"this is her house we are only here until she is back, so like we care about keeping things clean"; coming from a family where cleanliness is an obsession and a comb kept out of place is heresy, I cannot see things being unclean -I just have to clean it - especially now, with the baby and the potential risk of infections.

@Phoenix - yeah, well, things are a combination of good and bad. I just rant about the bad and forget the good.

A said...

Was it humans living there or pigs? Can totally relate to your post!
Another thing which annoys me to no end is,how the D-I-L is expected to stay in the in-laws place,inspite of having her own place,so that the in-laws can "enjoy" being with the kid.And these are people who refuse to change the baby's soiled nappy!

Really really hate it!

Divesh said...

time to read this again.. the only non-rant not-sad not-sarcastic post on your blog :) :)

"I just rant about the bad and forget the good." .. thank God you said that!

WSW said...

:( deep breaths?

Kanupriya said...

oh, well, go read the link Divesh posted :)
and cheer up! life can't be all that bad...