I am a Cancer. (Also known as "Crab") My Horroscope starts like this:
" A failure by definition, a Cancer is both a conservative and an opportunist, stuck in a constant state of self-reflection. Nothing and no one is capable of changing his mind, but he loves to argue, just to make fun of his opponent and look better in his own bulging eyes.Cancers are quite cowardly, which may cause them to attack first, but they will usually flee at the first sign of danger, seeking the safety of their hole - a place which they love and nurture above all else.
A Cancer will readily slander and poke fun of everything around him, always pretending to be in control of the situation, strong and sure of himself. In truth, he is deathly afraid of everyone and prefers to be left alone in quiet solitude. " (Find yours)
Well , not all of it is true (whhhheeeeewwwww) but some aspects do come a teeny bit close ! ( well , thats the other side for you ! )