I just met with an accident around 15 days back , yesterday was the first day on a two wheeler again , I felt the pangs of fear clutch the pits of my stomach and roll me in it ..... every movement was as though a new accident... each flick of the wrist to increase the accelaration accelarated the fear that had gripped my heart with its cold clammy hands .... I ignored it and drove ahead I thought fear had been won over until the same scene repeated itself .... another pedestarian crossing the road mindless of the vehicles hurtling towards him ! I had a sad sense of deja vu ... my dad had the vehicle set right so the brakes screeched the bike to a halt with a lot of distance to spare ... I broke out in that cold sweat that makes your spine shiver no matter what the weather outside... I stood there in midst the milling traffic , right in the middle ... with horns angrily honking at me ... I stod there mute and oblivious to angry stares and shaking fists ... tried calling home , but then there was no one at home , wasnt that why I had sneaked out with the bike? tried my best friend but her mobile was switched off.
I stood there looking at the vehicle as though it was the biggest enemy and me its unwilling victim
"So this is wat it all comes to .. this is called once bitten twice shy ... " said my head " Nopes lady ... you have never been afraid .. not afraid ever in your life , even when you were 5 and every one talked about the ghost in the attic , you were not afraid .. has it taken 25 stitches a couple of ligament tears and some muscle ruptures to put you off track is it ?" "Is it what you have become ? A sniffling scaredy cat who needs some help even to get somewhere on a damn two wheeler?"
"No ... Im not afraid , Ive never been afraid , not when I broke my leg , not when I hit my pancreas , not when I fractured my hand ... I actually swam then ... "I thought with a unsuspecting ghost of a smile creeping up ! No I had never been afraid and I didnt count on being afraid too .... but then the touch of the cold metal hit that pit of my stomach again making me feel nauseas ... my head began throbbing where the doc had stiched it all up ... but then my head always throbbed after the incident .... and the scar made me feel like Harry Potter ... "The toughie who lived"
I looked around and saw a sea of two wheelers around me , by now they had taken me to be a zombie or a drunk bozo trying to clear my head or the contents of my stomach in the middle of the road and convienently avoided me .... I sat down again on the seat and held the vehicle , honked it loudly and raised the accelarater ... and snaked my way through the mass of vehicles on the road ....
The accident taught many things , most of which I already had heard thousands of times ... like be careful ... wear a helmet , keep your license and RC book handy etc etc but it also taught me this
Face your fears ... admit you are scared and that will make it easier to overcome them ... , well then now , Im off again trying to sneak out with the vehicle ...
Oh BTW , I almost forgot , I got to meet two very ashen faces when I made it home ... they turned bright with relief and then red with anger when they saw me ... and gave me a couple of hours of lecture on not taking the vehicle out especially when my leg is still in the cast and the stichtes in my head are not yet out and when I still feel dizzy due to lack of blood in the body .... I promised them I would never take the vehicle out for another year ( did I tell you .. I had my fingers crossed then ) !