Lazy Lazy Lazy weekends for me now .... and being down with cold and cough , being flattered by males on telephone & YM ( who of course havent seen me , dekha hota flattery nahin karte :p)Im spending some contented weekends lately ! ahhh .......... all's well....except for one fool who calls up on every Saturday and asks if we can go out for a coffee, Ive now run out of bahanas to say a no to him ... this time , ive braced myself to give a good scolding the minute he calls up !
Well, but this post is not about the 1001 ways to say no to a guy who invites you to a coffee and expects you to pay for all the brew he drinks ! This post is about weekend laziness and my craziness!
so here goes , in no particular order ( warning , these thoughts are a result of watching excessive Television over the weekend , so weak hearted,PJ allergic ppl and "I'll-go-psycho-if-you-make-me-read-another-such-stupid-post" ppl , better stay away ...
Thought #1 : What if we had teeth like sharks ? ( no not the size yaar! the charecteristic I mean , you know , one tooth gira nahin , ki doosra aa jaata hain kinds) all the toothbrush-toothpaste-orbit-protex-etc -etc industry would be out of business ... which means lesser ads in between a movie ! yipppeeee !!!!
Thought #2 : What if humans , like animals have breeding seasons ? you ki , sirf Jan to March tak hi pyaar hoga types? No Shaadi.com/ jeevansathi.com ads every second minute , more movie time again yippeee ! ( also, wont have to hear my mom's khitpit through out the year .. she always goes .. "shaadi karlo, ab nahin , to phir kab? how many more days in my home? why dont you go to YOUR home? tere daddy itni badi zimmedari mujhpe chod gaye , khud to aaraam se hain , mere sir pe yr toofan mail chod gaye khit pit khit pit khitpit blab, blab blab ok so you got the point eh? I wldnt have this all year through , just 3 months a year ! aahhh bliss !
Thought #3 : What if the girl you loved as a kid ( damn!kids watching too much of TV these days , when i was a kid , all i could think of , was to outrun the fastest guy and pour water all over the pants of my school sissy boy) ok , enough of digressing ...
what if a girl you loved as a kid , after 10 years , grows up to be fat, tanned and dark, scarce hair on the head , excessive hair elsewhere , bade chasme etc etc ? tab bhi tum use itna hi pyaar karoge jitna ki tum use tab kar rahe ho when she's Kareena Kapoor or Aishwarya Rai ( yaar , samjha karo, I watched Mujhse dosti karoge and Devdas during my weekend .. I have a right to sound incoherent !!! :p , ok no offence meant)
But seriously ... if your childhood friend does not look gorgeous , or if your internet pal who writes all those beautiful thoughts on his blog is a bald, potbellied , spectacled nerd , would you them as you do when you havent seen them?
oh damn ! bada thought tha ye wala , used up most of my grey matter
Thought #4 : will you stink very bad if you dont bathe during the weekends? the guy at the pizza hut spoke only to my bro after sniffing me once ...
** after 2 hours** ( in the meanwhile , the writer sniffed her armpits and went unconscious for a couple of hours)
Thought #5 : Overheard - men without passion are like headless chickens ... yaar , in mardon ko head hi kab tha ki abhi headless ban gaye?
Thought #6 : Again overheard - I dislike people who are not punctual , When Im punctual , I expect others to be the same - oye madamjee , woh bechara bakra aake chala gaya , aapka appointment kal ka tha ... ready hone main ladkiyon ko time lagta hain suna tha .. par itna?
Thought #7 : Mom's pravachan - itna agar din main so logi to raat main neend nahin aayegi ... ye batao yaar , kya main aane wale time ke liye , apna is time ko barbaad karoon? Im sleepy now yaar.. to mere hisaab se PV of sleep now is greater than the discounted FV of sleep at night ! wat say?
Chalo, at this incoherent notes , I'll try and get some sleep , dua karo , nightmares naa aye , Ive just finished watching mujhse dosti karogi !!!