Friday, June 4

Whining matters

There is this episode of Scrubs where Kelso, who's recently retires says this about his retirement plans:

"we plan to tour the wine country"
"of course, anywhere Im with her, it is whine country"


I miss my friends. I miss the useless banter and the worthless talk we had once. With everyone getting married and "settled" and moving out of each other's lives; I miss them dearly.

I miss R a lot. He used to be my 4 AM friend. A rare guy with a combo of IQ, EQ and adequate adult jokes. Then, he got married. His blog is protected, the number of friends on his FB have drastically reduced, my Gtalk escapades have dwindled to a big fat zero. and I miss him.

when you trust people completely, even a stupid small "untruth" might throw you into a huge hole of depression. Though it might be something like "it wasnt me" when its just the two of you, and a silent fart and its smell fills the room.

I miss moping around at home, getting scolded by mom about not moving my lazy ass to get things done at home. I hate having to cook, clean, sweep and mop and do all the conventional "grihalakshmi" tasks. (in case you are wondering about domestic help - im not someone who likes strangers peeping into what I ate yesterday or wondering why the sheets in the bedroom are all crumpled up - I HAVE to have my house to myself.)

I miss having my bro pull my leg and say something really stupid for everything I said/ did. Now he's all grown up and like -"how are you doing sis? feeling fine? take care. Hows the baby doing". I miss pulling each other's hair out, and sitting on each other to decide who gets the remote. Finally one of us getting hurt and the other getting yelled at by mom and dad.

I miss dad. As days go by without him, the pain of him not being around only increases. I miss his really annoying, stupid antics using which he made us laugh. His songs off key and his really made up lyrics that made absolutely no sense.

I miss me. I really do. I miss the person I used to be. I hate the person I am now. Though I understand the inevitability of change and transition, I cannot come to terms with it.

I miss eating / not eating stuff without people telling me whats good or whats not. I miss papayas the most. My dear poor negative calorie fruit.

Okay, I thought I missed whining, and might just suck at it, after so long. I realise that I can whine with the same amount of gusto, and as I write, the more I feel the need to whine. So, until the next whine, crib and sob.


faust said...
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faust said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
faust said...

I can so completely and wholly empathize and understand what you are feeling right now. Its this that scares the hell out of me when i think of taking the next step. the thought of my younger brother calling me up one day and behaving all like a grown up and adult and asking me, "how are you doing", has so freaked me out right now. I actually feel like being nice to him.

JustSo said...

hmm, I guess getting scared is, but normal. life, though waits for none and takes its own course. and younger brothers growing up is such a pain! they should stay the way they always were, irritating, nosey, and ready to pull your hair out in a fight. :) anything apart from this, freaks us elder sisters out!