Warning - There are no witty oneliners or funny incidents or foot-in-mouth situations - those who hate rants STAY AWAY
There are mood swings and then, there are mood swings.
So while I spend half a day feeling top of the world, I spend the rest trying to strangle myself.
And there are pretensions to be kept up. It is important that you 'look' okay. Who cares whether you are or not? Cant think of many who geniunely would.
So, what makes me feel top of the world? Well... The now-famous J now has my name on top of his blog link - so a lot of people have been silenced - in his words " abe! tujhe khush karne ke liye main ne itni saari ladkiyon se dushmani le li - tujhe aur kya chahiye? hamesha khit pit" So there - a tiny bit of appreciation for being a friend I get :P
Otherwise
This Corporate Strategy case study seems to be getting on my nerves brrr! I have an entire booklet to read about the Japanese beer industry and Asahi breweries. Seems like my professor recently visited my blog and decided to give me a lesson or two about drinking. Need to have all the strategies ready by tomorrow and believe me I havent touched the case yet - still reading the reading material given to understand the case ! Aah the woes ... gone are the blissful days of Math and Accountancy.
Work, for the first time is getting on my nerves ... not because I dont like it - I love my job; its just frustrating to run to the finish line just barely within time and Ive been doing that on a couple of tasks on hand - and to think I havent begun on another task that takes a min of 2 weeks .. while the deadline is just 4 days away - its gonna be a helluva ride !
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A self evaluation test required me to write my core values.
Easy.
The same test required me to write the philosophy of my life.
Easy.
The test asked me what was that one thing for which I would stake the above two.
I scribbled the answer. - Easy.
Why would one find questions about oneself difficult?
I stared at the answers. The first two were self centered; almost bordering on the egoistic.The words showed off a pride of being me. The two reasons that made me different from the rest – and hence made me ME. Gave me an illusion of life and a good illusion at that.
It was the third that ripped the fabric of my existence apart. The third answer made my life hollow and mocked every ion of my being.
Teary eyed, I wished to rub it off; write something that did not hurt so much; write a lie so that I could get back to sanity - Foolish.
Someone once told me - until its in your mind, its there - something vague; once articulated and written down; it becomes something solid and tangible. You have told yourself, something that you never wanted to accept - and this means you ARE on your way to accepting it.
One is ready to throw away your whole being for something one is never destined for.
The answer to the third question –
True and Absolute Love.
What are you ready to throw off your whole being for?
16 comments:
I visit your page - you have that stupid poem ; by chance I refresh it, you have a sob-story here. friggin telepathy
If there WAS anything called true and absolute love - I wld have made sure u got it deary.
Guddu .. accept the fact that there IS no true and absolute love. Wanting it, will only hurt more.
-The End.
ayi yai yai yai! wats this? a weeklong of misery for the bacha?
woh kya kaha tha SRK ne yaad hain?
" mohabbat ke din guzar gaye janaab, ab to chote mote pyaar se hi kaam chala lee jiye aap"
@ the dark lord - abe , hamesha ye "dark lord" kyon likhta hain? we all know how 'dark' your complexion is - go apply some fair and handsome ; and how come you are showing so many emtions? The 'dark' one is weeping - tch tch tch
hmm so ur friend "J" is the dude from mydayzwithmyself???? and wht r u doing abt him, njoin his blog but later if he has any feelings u wud say, we r just friends, as he is short and not handsome????
@ Dl - :)
@Ran - yeah right! I needed that dialogue and I needed it from you *rolls eyes* puhlease
@ Anon - If I were you, I would atleast garner the guts to leave my name. and about what I do with J & his feelings (even if he IS that dude from that blog u mention)isnt exactly a matter of international importance that needs discussion - so there :)
you probably have fallen for the guy because he is so funny and self proclaimed "husband" material. Getting your link on his blog doesnt mean a thing, wait until you see his true colours; you will curse the day you got to know him.
@ Anon #2 err... are you the same anon as the anon #1 or are you just another random wanderer unto my space?
I groaned at the post[u know i can't handle mushiness well], but its when i got to the comments, that i saw the real action going on!I hope Anon guy comes back and you two have a battle about 'J'!!! Oooohhh........
I'll be on your side in the end Arpz, dont worry :D !!!
@ bullshee - its your "in the end " that worries me !!!! :P
anon #1 is not the same as anon #2. anon 1 talks abt u on ur blog, if i have anythin against munu, i will post it on his blog. I know he IS the guy u referred, u r first on his blog roll list.
@ anon #1 - I guess or is it Anon #3 now? sheesh! it gets curiouser and curiouser ( to quote Mr Carroll's creation) - but hey Mr/ Ms Anon - Im first on the blogroll of lot of people - obviously lot of people are kind enough to have me there - maybe your "munu" is one of them :P
Oye madamjee... no new posts in the offing?
and I see you havent let go of your "fighting spirit" eh? :P
Because Arpana starts with an "A", it will obviously be amongst the first if not "the first" in many blog lists. I guess Mr. Anon doesn't know that :)
-A Wise Anon.
@ Ranny - padhle I have a new post for ya
@ Wise anon - thanks ! Atleast one anon is on my side *whew*
kya hain ladayi jhagda commenting section mein! AARDARR ORDERR!! :D
@ Di - aap aa gayi ho to koi kuch nahin kahega melaawrrdd
living in a dream world aren't we??
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